Fathers and Mothers

A new article in an Ottawa paper says that Fathers who stay home to caregive do it differently from Moms - they do part-time work more often and they socialize less with other Moms:

"The author of a new book about fathering says men’s reality is at such a remove from the conventional image that she wonders whether the term “stay-at-home dad” is even relevant anymore.

“So many do keep a hand in the labour market, whether through a bit of part-time work or through some studying/retraining, because so much of male identity is tied to earning or achieving or simply doing something apart from caregiving,” said Andrea Doucet, author of Do Men Mother? “I think that men do not face the same fatherload because they do carve out time for themselves, even when they are at home with the kids. Perhaps there are some interesting things that we can learn from men.”"

The article is based on interviews over 4 years with stay at home Dads. Some of the things ring true and many of them, as usual, seem to descibe my husband and me perfectly - only backwards. For example:

Archie says that fathers in general respond to children “in a less feminine way. If a kid falls and hurts himself, women would probably rush over more than men. I say, ‘Come on, toughen up.’ I think there are more differences there. I am not sure how to characterize it.”

The author points out this is often the first difference among moms and dads that her subjects mentioned to her. I actually rush in less often to comfort after a fall than my husband does, but when I do, I comfort just as much. Ah, the limits of stereotypes!