-Jake is reading! He is sounding out 3 letter words and proudly read to Mike last week at pick-up time at school. He's still very nonchalant about it outside of school, so we are low-key too.
-Abby is off the charts again! She's 37" high, weighs 33 pounds and her head is 20" wide. Dr. said she is one of the tallest 2 year olds in the country, but her weight to height slope remains consistent with normal growth. His advice? Don't be afraid to remind people: "She's 2!" (This is tricky since half the time when asked her age she announces she's 3, and then chuckles wildly).
-I had a great first travel week at Duke last week. Exhausting but productive. Our 2 babysitters helped Mike hold down the fort nicely here. Felt good!
-BUT, just got an email tonight from one of said babysitters, who announced she is quitting in 2 weeks. She says she's bitten off more than she can chew with her schoolwork, and cannot work for us AT ALL. Will try to negotiate with her, but it's likely she's a goner. Truly a shame. Abby LOVES her! I do not have time to readvertise and interview with my current schedule, so we're going to try to suck it up without her. Such a blow.
-Just signed up last week to go to the Skoll World Forum in London in April. To hang around with the top muckety-mucks in social entrepreneurship. Woo-hoo. Hmmm...hope we can get good babysitting coverage by then!
-Mike totally enjoyed his three day vacation two weeks ago in Durham, as did I. A very nice residual effect is that Jake is now letting me put him to bed several times a week. He has not wanted to let me do this since Abby was born, so this is HUGE! It is like rediscovering my sweet little boy. He is a mass of energy and chaos during the day, but he is so very sweet at bedtime! And I'm getting my kiss quota back up as a result!
-And I'm off to Durham again tomorrow!
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Monday, January 25, 2010
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Schools
It took a lot of conversations and a full morning of running around in 15 degree temps to observe different classes in different buildings, but Mike and I are very proud to have finally nailed down Jake and Abby's schooling for next year. We're putting them both in a Montessori school in town, one that will accomodate Jake in a lower elementary class (grade 1 in a class that mixes grades 1-3). Our big new decision was to not put Abby in the toddler class, but put her directly into the pre-school children's house class, for kids 2 1/2 through 6. She'll be 2 years and 9 months when she enters school in the fall and she's, well, no pussyfooting around it, a girl. She pretty much meets NOW every criteria for readiness that they gave to us. The kicker was that she's talking and counting to 10 and reciting colors and shapes and there was very little talking going on in the toddler room. Just a lot of nonverbal pointing as the mostly very young kids worked with very simple works. She'll need that larger classroom full of sophisticated materials and kids to interact with, we're sure. She'll just need to get her potty training in gear over the summer. Or more accurately, I will!
Anyway, we had to plunk down a large deposit and our hopes for entering the lottery for public schools in town are pretty much dashed by the timing of the payments due at this school. So, we're off to work to earn enough money so our kids can go to the very best school we could find for us in the area. The deciding factor, interestingly enough, was not the school or the price, but meeting the teachers and knowing who the kids would each be seeing and working with every day. We had such immediate intuitive reactions, positive and negative, to different teachers.
Jake will be in a classroom with two very experienced, low-key guides, including one who is a specialist in reading, which he needs. His current teachers also believe he will benefit from the Montessori environment at least for a few more years, as he develops confidence to do things as others are doing them. His learning style is based on observation right now, and Montessori classrooms accommodate that much better than a normal classroom would.
Abby will be in a classroom with 2 guides who have worked together for years, and manage a class that is always full of productive energy. After observing 4 different children's house teachers at Jake's current school I can see what a special class this one is. The kids in both classes looked completely engaged, completely at ease, and happy. Conflicts that came up were handled ably by the guides and kids working together. Two boys in Jake's future class even came up to us where we were sitting quietly in their room observing and offered to get us tea, very politely with no hint of self-consciouness. In his class they will cook their own lunch together once a week, plant edibles in the school garden, go to separate spaces for art and music and ecology lessons, and spend a lot of time outdoors. It is a lovely campus on top of a hill overlooking the Blue Ridge mountains, and is about 25 minutes from us.
I guess the truth also is that the whole school reminds me of the school I went to for 3-6 grades. Open campus, art in a barn, music in an old mansion. Same kind of feel here. It felt like coming home.
Oh, and I forgot to mention part of the school's mission: to measure their success by the extent to which graduates contribute positively to the world. Does that sound like me or what?
I hope they both thrive there!
Anyway, we had to plunk down a large deposit and our hopes for entering the lottery for public schools in town are pretty much dashed by the timing of the payments due at this school. So, we're off to work to earn enough money so our kids can go to the very best school we could find for us in the area. The deciding factor, interestingly enough, was not the school or the price, but meeting the teachers and knowing who the kids would each be seeing and working with every day. We had such immediate intuitive reactions, positive and negative, to different teachers.
Jake will be in a classroom with two very experienced, low-key guides, including one who is a specialist in reading, which he needs. His current teachers also believe he will benefit from the Montessori environment at least for a few more years, as he develops confidence to do things as others are doing them. His learning style is based on observation right now, and Montessori classrooms accommodate that much better than a normal classroom would.
Abby will be in a classroom with 2 guides who have worked together for years, and manage a class that is always full of productive energy. After observing 4 different children's house teachers at Jake's current school I can see what a special class this one is. The kids in both classes looked completely engaged, completely at ease, and happy. Conflicts that came up were handled ably by the guides and kids working together. Two boys in Jake's future class even came up to us where we were sitting quietly in their room observing and offered to get us tea, very politely with no hint of self-consciouness. In his class they will cook their own lunch together once a week, plant edibles in the school garden, go to separate spaces for art and music and ecology lessons, and spend a lot of time outdoors. It is a lovely campus on top of a hill overlooking the Blue Ridge mountains, and is about 25 minutes from us.
I guess the truth also is that the whole school reminds me of the school I went to for 3-6 grades. Open campus, art in a barn, music in an old mansion. Same kind of feel here. It felt like coming home.
Oh, and I forgot to mention part of the school's mission: to measure their success by the extent to which graduates contribute positively to the world. Does that sound like me or what?
I hope they both thrive there!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Sick, Sick, Sick
So, we're going on 3 weeks of Abby being sick here and I've had quite enough. I'm sure she has too! We've had colds and congestion and ear infections and two different antibiotics and crying all day and hives from head to toe and crying all night. Poor little thing. I'll feel more like writing when we get to the end of this lousy spell.
On the other hand, I just got word from a friend of mine in SF that her daughter was diagnosed 3 weeks ago with leukemia. They are moving back to the city to do her radiation therapy and trying to reorganize her older sister's life. Puts things in perspective - a few hives and a few nights of lost sleep suddenly seem really quite ok.
Still, we're tired. Wish us well soon!
To go with our feeling of general wackiness in the universe, here's a funky photo Jake and I made with the webcam last weekend. He loved the special effects options.
On the other hand, I just got word from a friend of mine in SF that her daughter was diagnosed 3 weeks ago with leukemia. They are moving back to the city to do her radiation therapy and trying to reorganize her older sister's life. Puts things in perspective - a few hives and a few nights of lost sleep suddenly seem really quite ok.
Still, we're tired. Wish us well soon!
To go with our feeling of general wackiness in the universe, here's a funky photo Jake and I made with the webcam last weekend. He loved the special effects options.
Thursday, January 01, 2009
2008 - 2009
It seems it is time to do a little year-end self reflection.
Thanks to Keris Stainton, who somehow found me on Goodreads, for the inspiration. I like this because it is simple. Just three questions!
1. What do you want to acknowledge yourself for in regard to 2008?
(What did you create? What challenges did you face with courage and strength? What promises did you keep to yourself? What brave choices did you make? What are you proud of?)
I created a new person this year, and she's wonderful! Adding her joyful spirit to my life and our family has absolutely been the high point of the year. The lowest point has been the challenge of my back problem, which was so severe over the summer I could not lift Abby or stand or sit for nearly 2 weeks. I was very scared by being so incapacitated, and it put a great deal of stress on myself and my family for a long time this year. I am proud of myself for managing to make significant efforts to heal my back, even as I went back to work part-time in the fall, and for all of the swimming and physical therapy I have made time for, even when I didn't know where it would come from!
Brave choices? Hiring a babysitter without being able to meet her first! She was out of town and we spoke by phone. When she returned from CA I found out I had made a fabulous choice. It was brave but my gut was right on. And she has become an essential part of making me feel confident that Abby (and Mike!) is well cared for while I am working.
I think I made some brave choices at the beginning of the year around Abby's feeding issues too. That was a really hard time. I cried nearly the whole weekend Abby and I spent back in the hospital, trying to combat her dehydration and jaundice. I tried so hard to live up to my expectations - pumped as long as I could and then made the tough choice to give up breastfeeding, which was clearly the right one for all of us! Then three months later I faced another feeding challenge and changed pediatricians as a result. And I ended up finding my own solution to what she needed (blending different formulas until she was satisfied). Again, I followed my gut. I am proud of figuring out what Abby needed, not following the canned advice from books or doctors.
2. What is there to grieve about 2008?
(What was disappointing? What was scary? What was hard? What can you forgive yourself for?)
I think I grieved for months over not being able to breastfeed Abby. It seems a little silly now, but it consumed me. She's so happy and healthy now. Her colic was also scary and quite exhausting. Dealing with Jake's initial disappointment in the big brother role and missing of my time and attention early in the year was hard. Actually, putting Jake in school all day, while it's been much easier in many ways, has been hard emotionally on me. He's clearly thriving, but I miss him!
3. What else do you need to say about the year to declare it complete?
Okay, the next step is to say out loud, "I declare 2008 complete!" How do you feel? If you don't feel quite right, there might be one more thing to say...
2008 was the year I completed our family. My babymaking years are now over. And we spent this year learning how to become a family of four. Now we get to concentrate on raising these kids and making this a great family, one that supports and stimulates all its members into being their best selves.
I declare 2008 complete. It feels just fine.
The final step is to consider your primary focus for the year to come. What is your primary intention or theme for 2009? Is it the year of joy? the year of self-care? the year of partnership?
Stand up and say it proud, "2009 is my year of...."
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Abby at 6 months
So, Abby is 6 months old this week. So, what's new?
1. She sits by herself. Actually, she insists on sitting for several hours a day. She regularly wiggles and moans if you try to hold her or lay her down and looks pleased as punch to look at the world from a vertical position. She spent 10 minutes of her double stroller ride today in the old carseat, holding her head up awkwardly because she wanted to be sitting rather than reclining. I guess it's time to take out the car seat and strap her into the seat! Though 5 minutes later she was napping happily, which was my goal all along!
2. She reaches. She's been reaching for objects for several months, but in the past week or so it's changed. She fixes her attention on an object and DECIDES she wants it, then tries to maneuver either her hands or body or both to get it. It is very deliberate, and is followed by a great deal of moaning and squealing if she cannot reach the object. And nearly every object that comes within a foot of her is fair game for reaching and discovery of its features. Today she had a first encounter with the baby fishbowl and one of Jake's trucks, each for over 5 minutes. She was not yet able to figure out that she could reach into the fishbowl to retrieve objects, but she did knock it over by accident and pick up what fell out. She's also able to lean quite a ways forward to combine 1 and 2, and reach things while she's sitting that are not directly in front of her.
3. She travels. All around her crib, every which way, every night, no exceptions. She seems to be locomoting mostly by rolling, but is so subtle, it's hard to catch. She's lifted her whole tummy only once that I could see, as a precursor to crawling. She does a lot of moaning crab imitations, with hands and legs up in the air wiggling, while on her belly, as if to say, I know this will work eventually, but I don't know how to do it!
4. She socializes. I thought baby Jake was all charisma, but Abby is in another league entirely. She beams at every new face and waits for a response. She reacts to all smiles as well. This week she flirted shamelessly with our neighbor's 3 month baby boy Drake, and reached out to hold his hand as they sat next to each other in the couch. She laughs when Jake's face gets within 6 inches of hers and reaches out to fondle his hair. If Jake says "Hi Abby" and looks her right in the eyes, she gives him a goofy grin every time. She touches my face when eating and likes me to suck on her fingers several times a day. And she has a very sweet smile she reserves just for Daddy - all he has to do is look at her from behind me and I can tell he's there.
I went back to Jake's site to see him at this age.
Notice the same mat and many of the same toys! But I was surprised to see his weight and height too. He was 20 pounds and 26 inches. Abby has a dr's appt soon but I estimate she's about 22 pounds still and 27 inches or more. I do have big babies!
Anyway, she's a thriving, jolly 6 month old and we all adore her!
1. She sits by herself. Actually, she insists on sitting for several hours a day. She regularly wiggles and moans if you try to hold her or lay her down and looks pleased as punch to look at the world from a vertical position. She spent 10 minutes of her double stroller ride today in the old carseat, holding her head up awkwardly because she wanted to be sitting rather than reclining. I guess it's time to take out the car seat and strap her into the seat! Though 5 minutes later she was napping happily, which was my goal all along!
2. She reaches. She's been reaching for objects for several months, but in the past week or so it's changed. She fixes her attention on an object and DECIDES she wants it, then tries to maneuver either her hands or body or both to get it. It is very deliberate, and is followed by a great deal of moaning and squealing if she cannot reach the object. And nearly every object that comes within a foot of her is fair game for reaching and discovery of its features. Today she had a first encounter with the baby fishbowl and one of Jake's trucks, each for over 5 minutes. She was not yet able to figure out that she could reach into the fishbowl to retrieve objects, but she did knock it over by accident and pick up what fell out. She's also able to lean quite a ways forward to combine 1 and 2, and reach things while she's sitting that are not directly in front of her.
3. She travels. All around her crib, every which way, every night, no exceptions. She seems to be locomoting mostly by rolling, but is so subtle, it's hard to catch. She's lifted her whole tummy only once that I could see, as a precursor to crawling. She does a lot of moaning crab imitations, with hands and legs up in the air wiggling, while on her belly, as if to say, I know this will work eventually, but I don't know how to do it!
4. She socializes. I thought baby Jake was all charisma, but Abby is in another league entirely. She beams at every new face and waits for a response. She reacts to all smiles as well. This week she flirted shamelessly with our neighbor's 3 month baby boy Drake, and reached out to hold his hand as they sat next to each other in the couch. She laughs when Jake's face gets within 6 inches of hers and reaches out to fondle his hair. If Jake says "Hi Abby" and looks her right in the eyes, she gives him a goofy grin every time. She touches my face when eating and likes me to suck on her fingers several times a day. And she has a very sweet smile she reserves just for Daddy - all he has to do is look at her from behind me and I can tell he's there.
I went back to Jake's site to see him at this age.
Notice the same mat and many of the same toys! But I was surprised to see his weight and height too. He was 20 pounds and 26 inches. Abby has a dr's appt soon but I estimate she's about 22 pounds still and 27 inches or more. I do have big babies!
Anyway, she's a thriving, jolly 6 month old and we all adore her!
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
.. and that's it.
Two nights is her best run. The next night she was up twice, last night once. But if she can do it twice, I'm hoping it won't be too long before I get another lovely long night of sleep!
Monday, May 19, 2008
Ohmigod. Twice in a Row!
Holy REM, batman - she did it again! 7 pm to 4:30am this time. Up again at 7am. Slept on her back the whole time. We've had oatmeal three times a day for the past two days - maybe that's the secret?
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Our Big, Beautiful Girl
Had our second pediatrician visit with Abby yesterday within a week. Last week, her new pediatrician declared we were overfeeding her and gave me the draconian advice to let her cry it out and cease to feed her at all at night. This advice was based on her off the chart weight of 18 pounds 10 ounces and height of 26.7 inches at 3.5 months. She said Abby was consuming too many ounces and that I had to limit her. She sent me into a tailspin of worry and research and many lost nights of sleep as I tried to keep Abby to a set number of ounces per day, by keeping her from eating at night unless she was REALLY hungry. (I rejected the cry it out advice as even Ferber says don't try this until they are 6 months old. And I simply will not let my very hungry child cry for 12 hours straight.) Delaying her with pacifiers and bottles of water did nothing but piss her off and exhaust me, and I have been a zombie for a week as a result. Now when she wakes she informs me in no uncertain terms of exactly how starving she is, and then she scarfs down whatever I give her. She's not playing around - she's hungry!
So, we went back to see her old pediatrician yesterday. He changed practices last month, but Abby and I drove to town to see him again and it was so worth the trip. He's the one who helped me through all of her early feeding issues and knows how hard it was for her to be satisfied with breastfeeding. He charted her growth from birth on his computer and said despite his former colleague's thoughts, there is NO WAY Abby is growing too fast. Her growth is above the normal curve, but is happening at the exact same slope as normal growth. She started out big and she continues to be big. And he calculated and charted the ratio between weight and height (which the other dr didn't do) and noted that ratio is in the 50-75 percentile range, totally average. In other words, her weight is matching her height as it should. He also asked to hold her, remarked on her trunk control and urge to stand, said how beautiful she is and told me to keep doing everything I told him I had been doing, including starting her on solid foods, which she seems to love!
Needless to say, we are switching both Jake and Abby to his new practice forthwith. A good pediatrician is worth a little driving. And my sleep and sanity for a week is payment enough for the poor advice we got from the other dr.
Abby and I walked out very happy indeed.
So, we went back to see her old pediatrician yesterday. He changed practices last month, but Abby and I drove to town to see him again and it was so worth the trip. He's the one who helped me through all of her early feeding issues and knows how hard it was for her to be satisfied with breastfeeding. He charted her growth from birth on his computer and said despite his former colleague's thoughts, there is NO WAY Abby is growing too fast. Her growth is above the normal curve, but is happening at the exact same slope as normal growth. She started out big and she continues to be big. And he calculated and charted the ratio between weight and height (which the other dr didn't do) and noted that ratio is in the 50-75 percentile range, totally average. In other words, her weight is matching her height as it should. He also asked to hold her, remarked on her trunk control and urge to stand, said how beautiful she is and told me to keep doing everything I told him I had been doing, including starting her on solid foods, which she seems to love!
Needless to say, we are switching both Jake and Abby to his new practice forthwith. A good pediatrician is worth a little driving. And my sleep and sanity for a week is payment enough for the poor advice we got from the other dr.
Abby and I walked out very happy indeed.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Run of the Mill
Today was more or less typical day. Had a quiet early morning with Abby, then went to Nikki's to buy her double jogging stroller, then to the new cafe for a quick jolt of decaf and being out. After lunch with the boys, Abby did her 45 minute nap trick again and wouldn't go back to sleep in her crib, so I put her in the ducky swing, and she was out. That is, until in my zeal to do some reading on how to get 3-4 month old babies to nap longer I accidentally knocked over a framed picture right next to her head! NOT the way to get her to nap longer, clearly! Which she told me, in no uncertain terms.
After nap time, Jake and Mike took Grandma Fran on a virtual tour of the house with the webcam, and Abby and I went to the library and got Jake a slew of new books. She slept there and in the car, and was happy. Mike fixed us all a quick pasta dinner, and after tons of huge smiles at the dinner table, Abby had a huge crying fit that seemed to last for hours, but was really about 45 minutes, both before and after her bath, which she kind of liked. But the minute the bath towel touched her skin, she went off again. She went stiff as a board, turned beet red, and kept pulling my hair out at the roots! She was inconsolable, hungry but rejecting the bottle. I remade it from scratch and tried 3 different nipples. She was clearly trying to tell me something, but I was not getting it. Mike tried too - no difference. I think maybe the first one had something wrong with it and after that she was just all in a tizzy. It finally ended when she accepted her pacifier, had her belly rubbed, and fell asleep in my arms, her little fingers curled around my index finger. Whew. She woke up 45 minutes later and finished the same bottle with no problems at all, and went back to sleep. Double whew.
A bunch of emails were waiting and now it's after 9pm. How do the days go so fast? I am tired and wishing I had more time to do the things I put on my lists every day. I did absolutely nothing I had planned!
After nap time, Jake and Mike took Grandma Fran on a virtual tour of the house with the webcam, and Abby and I went to the library and got Jake a slew of new books. She slept there and in the car, and was happy. Mike fixed us all a quick pasta dinner, and after tons of huge smiles at the dinner table, Abby had a huge crying fit that seemed to last for hours, but was really about 45 minutes, both before and after her bath, which she kind of liked. But the minute the bath towel touched her skin, she went off again. She went stiff as a board, turned beet red, and kept pulling my hair out at the roots! She was inconsolable, hungry but rejecting the bottle. I remade it from scratch and tried 3 different nipples. She was clearly trying to tell me something, but I was not getting it. Mike tried too - no difference. I think maybe the first one had something wrong with it and after that she was just all in a tizzy. It finally ended when she accepted her pacifier, had her belly rubbed, and fell asleep in my arms, her little fingers curled around my index finger. Whew. She woke up 45 minutes later and finished the same bottle with no problems at all, and went back to sleep. Double whew.
A bunch of emails were waiting and now it's after 9pm. How do the days go so fast? I am tired and wishing I had more time to do the things I put on my lists every day. I did absolutely nothing I had planned!
Saturday, April 19, 2008
15 Week Comparison
Here are Abby and Jake, in photos both taken at about 15 weeks:
They both have round chubby faces, very alert eyes, cute pug noses, and they both gape with adoration at Daddy when he takes their picture!
So that's what's the same. So, what is different?
Abby has a ton more hair! At his age, Jake was still basically bald. And Jake was better at sitting and lying by himself and looking at things for long periods of time. She'll do short spurts, but prefers being in a seat or being held than flat in a crib or on the floor.
He was obsessed with objects. She, it seems, is obsessed with faces. He batted toys hanging from his play gym for hours. She coos at her stuffed animals (the ones with clear faces) and at us.
She is also much more verbal, and tries to interact with us by grunting, puffing and cooing.
Jake was patient and cried quietly, and comforted himself relatively easily. Once he saw the bottle coming, he relaxed. Abby is super impatient and goes from silent to blood curdling in about 2 seconds. She needs a lot of help to be comforted, still. Once she sees the bottle coming, she screams louder!
And this is just at 15 weeks! It will be interesting indeed to see how different they really become.
They both have round chubby faces, very alert eyes, cute pug noses, and they both gape with adoration at Daddy when he takes their picture!
So that's what's the same. So, what is different?
Abby has a ton more hair! At his age, Jake was still basically bald. And Jake was better at sitting and lying by himself and looking at things for long periods of time. She'll do short spurts, but prefers being in a seat or being held than flat in a crib or on the floor.
He was obsessed with objects. She, it seems, is obsessed with faces. He batted toys hanging from his play gym for hours. She coos at her stuffed animals (the ones with clear faces) and at us.
She is also much more verbal, and tries to interact with us by grunting, puffing and cooing.
Jake was patient and cried quietly, and comforted himself relatively easily. Once he saw the bottle coming, he relaxed. Abby is super impatient and goes from silent to blood curdling in about 2 seconds. She needs a lot of help to be comforted, still. Once she sees the bottle coming, she screams louder!
And this is just at 15 weeks! It will be interesting indeed to see how different they really become.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Grateful Day
Oprah says that she tries in her journal to write about what she is grateful for. So here goes:
Today I am grateful to have such wonderful, supportive friends. An hour with them at pleasant grove was all it took to make me feel social and loved.
And I am a happy mom.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
The Difference an Hour Makes
So, my gorgeous little girl has been eating (at least) every 2 hours during the day for the past 12 weeks. This seems cute until you realize that if it takes her 15 - 45 minutes to eat (and it took about 50 for the first 2 months, until we switched bottle brands) and then some time to play and then fall asleep, you're talking about 15 minute catnaps throughout the day. I feel like I could write a novel about what can and cannot get done in 15 minutes...
you can shower and get dressed, but you can't dry your hair or put on make-up
you can eat a meal, or prepare one, but you cannot do both,
you can read your emails or reply to one or two, but not both at the same time, which means you never can remember which ones in your overflowing inbox you meant to answer,
you can take a nap or clean the kitchen (hmmm, tough choice!),
you can mix cookie dough with your 3 year old son, but you have to wait another 2 hours to get the dough onto the cookie sheets (this ALWAYS goes over well!).
You get the idea.
And all of this with a 3 month old baby who started life over 8 pounds and seems, if my scale is to be believed, to weigh 15-17 pounds now. And has only formula! She should be able to last more than 2 hours! And all the books say she should be napping more than this. But she cried bloody murder no matter what I tried.
So imagine my absolute JOY at getting Abby to change to a 3 hour schedule, including bigger naps. It happened officially 2 days ago. And it would never have happened now (I am convinced) if I hadn't been using my 15 minutes, not to clean the kitchen or read emails, but to desperately peruse some Baby Center message boards. Where I found, on the bottle-fed babies thread, a woman whose baby was just like Abby, weighing 15 lbs at 3 months, eating a ton of formula every 2 hours and sometimes in between, crying heartily as if he was starving, etc. Her ped said to try switching formula, from Enfamil Lipil (which Abby eats) to Enfamil AR (which has added rice cereal). I bought it on the sly and started mixing it with her bottles very slowly, and could see good effects, so I called our pediatrician this week and got the green light to use it, though they thought it wouldn't do much. Well, they were wrong. I mix 1 part regular formula to 2 parts AR and now we are on a three hour schedule, like clockwork. And she is so happy now in between feeds - she's like another child. She even smiles sometimes right BEFORE a feed, which she never did before. And she takes naps of 45 minutes or more.
Ahhhh. Now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Next challenge: getting her to sleep though the night in her crib!
you can shower and get dressed, but you can't dry your hair or put on make-up
you can eat a meal, or prepare one, but you cannot do both,
you can read your emails or reply to one or two, but not both at the same time, which means you never can remember which ones in your overflowing inbox you meant to answer,
you can take a nap or clean the kitchen (hmmm, tough choice!),
you can mix cookie dough with your 3 year old son, but you have to wait another 2 hours to get the dough onto the cookie sheets (this ALWAYS goes over well!).
You get the idea.
And all of this with a 3 month old baby who started life over 8 pounds and seems, if my scale is to be believed, to weigh 15-17 pounds now. And has only formula! She should be able to last more than 2 hours! And all the books say she should be napping more than this. But she cried bloody murder no matter what I tried.
So imagine my absolute JOY at getting Abby to change to a 3 hour schedule, including bigger naps. It happened officially 2 days ago. And it would never have happened now (I am convinced) if I hadn't been using my 15 minutes, not to clean the kitchen or read emails, but to desperately peruse some Baby Center message boards. Where I found, on the bottle-fed babies thread, a woman whose baby was just like Abby, weighing 15 lbs at 3 months, eating a ton of formula every 2 hours and sometimes in between, crying heartily as if he was starving, etc. Her ped said to try switching formula, from Enfamil Lipil (which Abby eats) to Enfamil AR (which has added rice cereal). I bought it on the sly and started mixing it with her bottles very slowly, and could see good effects, so I called our pediatrician this week and got the green light to use it, though they thought it wouldn't do much. Well, they were wrong. I mix 1 part regular formula to 2 parts AR and now we are on a three hour schedule, like clockwork. And she is so happy now in between feeds - she's like another child. She even smiles sometimes right BEFORE a feed, which she never did before. And she takes naps of 45 minutes or more.
Ahhhh. Now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Next challenge: getting her to sleep though the night in her crib!
Generous Jake
A few weeks ago, Jake was driving Mike nuts, by going to wake him up several times in the middle of the night. After a bunch of scrambling to figure out what to do, we instituted a star reward system. Jake now earns a star to velcro on his refrigerator chart every morning that he didn't wake Daddy up the night before. When he gets 5 stars, he gets to go pick out a toy. If he wakes Mike when the door is closed, he loses a star that morning.
It took about 3 days for the reality of this system to sink in (and the loss of the first stars he earned.) Last week, he got to five stars and nearly jumped to the ceiling with his excitement. He was planning to buy a new kite with his stars, but then we went shopping at Giant and he found a little notebook he really wanted. I explained he could have it, but only if he used his 5 stars, and then he wouldn't be able to get a kite until he earned 5 MORE stars. I thought he'd put the notebook back, but he insisted that was what he wanted to do. And it was -- he got home and happily removed his stars from the chart to start again at zero. And he's been talking about the kite ever since, and has earned 5 more stars easily.
So yesterday, we were out at Pleasant Grove playing in the rather windy playground and he noted it was a good place to fly a kite. Next thing I know he is offering me his NEXT 5 stars so I can get a kite too! He kept saying, I want to SHARE my stars with YOU, Mommy. I didn't know what to say, so I asked, are you sure? He said, yes, I can earn more and then you can have a kite too. You can come pick one out with me and Daddy.
That's Generous Jake!
It took about 3 days for the reality of this system to sink in (and the loss of the first stars he earned.) Last week, he got to five stars and nearly jumped to the ceiling with his excitement. He was planning to buy a new kite with his stars, but then we went shopping at Giant and he found a little notebook he really wanted. I explained he could have it, but only if he used his 5 stars, and then he wouldn't be able to get a kite until he earned 5 MORE stars. I thought he'd put the notebook back, but he insisted that was what he wanted to do. And it was -- he got home and happily removed his stars from the chart to start again at zero. And he's been talking about the kite ever since, and has earned 5 more stars easily.
So yesterday, we were out at Pleasant Grove playing in the rather windy playground and he noted it was a good place to fly a kite. Next thing I know he is offering me his NEXT 5 stars so I can get a kite too! He kept saying, I want to SHARE my stars with YOU, Mommy. I didn't know what to say, so I asked, are you sure? He said, yes, I can earn more and then you can have a kite too. You can come pick one out with me and Daddy.
That's Generous Jake!
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
A Jake Story
At dinner a few nights ago I was trying to ask Jake about school but as usual he wasn't relying any info. So I decided that we'd go around the table and each person would mention something they had liked that day.
Mike said he liked taking Jake to the playground.
I said I liked pretending to be a Mommy Monster and giving Jake huge hugs on my bed after naptime.
Jake looked at us and announced exuberantly: "I like ABBY!!!!"
And then looked down at his plate for a minute and added "and I like my hot dog too."
Too cute.
Here he is, "doing letters" on Daddy's computer. He LOVES the computer!
Mike said he liked taking Jake to the playground.
I said I liked pretending to be a Mommy Monster and giving Jake huge hugs on my bed after naptime.
Jake looked at us and announced exuberantly: "I like ABBY!!!!"
And then looked down at his plate for a minute and added "and I like my hot dog too."
Too cute.
Here he is, "doing letters" on Daddy's computer. He LOVES the computer!
Abby is 2 Months old!
... and is gracing us with some really nice smiles!
They are hard to catch on film - she tends to offer one and then will not be cajoled into repeating it.
The big news of the past week is that I found a way to calm Abby down during her evening fits of colic. From about 5-7 weeks, she was crying bloody murder every night from 6 to 9pm. I tried everything and everything I did seemed to make it worse. Even holding her close. And even leaving her alone for a few minutes. She was clearly overstimulated and nothing helped. It was extremely wearing and it was starting to really get to me. As well as keeping Jake up and annoying all of us through the repercussions of that. So I did some research and between 2 books with hugely different philosophies, I found a solution.
Book #1 was the Baby Whisperer. Actually it was getting the second book in the series that did it. I used the first with Jake but needed a refresher on finer points. I ended up rejecting a lot of it for now, at least, but I think quite useful is the notion that babies need a routine that repeats itself at regular intervals throughout the day. You can be really flexible, but the pattern is the same: eat, activity, sleep. I was doing the cycle already (And Abby has been fed on demand, but has naturally followed a nearly perfect 2 hour cycle during the day since about 3 weeks - she eats every 2 hours) but I had not paid attention to Abby's sleep pattern. When I actually looked at what she was doing, I realized she was not sleeping more than in 20 minute chunks all day long! Sometimes she was up for 2 full eating cycles in a row. Not because we were keeping her awake, but because she couldn't settle herself to good sleep. By 6pm, she was beside herself tired. And on days where we took car trips and she slept longer, the colic crying was reduced. I realized I needed to help her sleep more and better during the day.
(Note: I tried the calming techniques in this book first and they didn't work at all - in fact, they made things much worse. I think they are much better suited to older babies, despite all the hoopla in the book about getting babies on a 3 hour, crib sleeping routine from when they are three days old. Abby wanted none of it!)
Book #2 was The Happiest Baby on the Block.
This book has saved my sanity. It has a very long intro to some very simple techniques about how to quiet and calm a crying baby. Unlike everything else I tried, it works! And it works fast too, which is amazing. By doing the 5 S's in this book (they are listed in the materials I got from the hospital when she was born but the extra instructions in this book make all the difference), I can quiet Abby in 3 minutes flat, and often have her asleep in 10. The key to all of it is a very tight swaddle, which I had stopped doing at about 2 weeks. She protests, but I was wrong to listen. She is, in the lexicon of the Baby Whisperer, a spirited child, and is able to work herself into a frenzy just by letting her arms flail around. Without that disturbance, and with some other distractions for her little brain, amazing things are happening!
Now I regularly put Abby in her pjs around 6 pm right before Jake comes upstairs to go to bed, and then when she starts her colic caterwauling, we go downstairs, I swaddle her and do the other S's and she is asleep in less than 10 minutes every time. I put her in her swing in the den with me (swinging is an S!) and then at bedtime I move her to her bassinet. For the last 6 nights she has stayed asleep from 6:30 to midnight or so this way! Last night she went until 2 am! I am amazed. Thank you to Harvey Karp for this simple but powerful little book. I have used other ideas in the book to help Abby sleep during the day too - I feel like I know what she needs at this age better than I ever did before. She now has regular naps in all sorts of places: swings, bouncy seats, car seats, crib; whatever is convenient for us with the right technique works for her too. It has made me feel like a supermom. I know I can quiet her with these techniques at any time, day or night, and she will be happy.
So, that's been my big obsession of late. Here are some photos from the past 2 weeks:
She likes her baths now very much. After the first one, during which she yelled, they've all gone well. I tend to do them in the morning, right after my shower, when the bathroom is warm and full of steam. I try to clear her nose this way every morning too - she sits in her swing and naps while I shower. She's been having a terrible time breathing at night and steam is so much easier than the aspirator (which makes her howl).
I didn't realize how much her eyes are glued to me until I saw these pictures. She will stare into my eyes intensely sometimes during her meals.
An interesting expression!
This is Abby's official 6 week couch photo. We did this with Jake, taking his picture every week on the couch with his stuffed giraffe. The minute I put her on the couch, Abby got stiff as a board and screamed. It was such a pleasurable experience I have somehow forgotten to do it since!
I like this one. You can see how chubby she's getting, as well as more alert and coordinated. She does try to hold her bottles about half of the time, and actually does quite often! And I love this little sailor outfit.
This may have been the tail end of a smile!
And this one is from today. She laid huge smiles on both her Daddy and me all morning.
What a ham!
They are hard to catch on film - she tends to offer one and then will not be cajoled into repeating it.
The big news of the past week is that I found a way to calm Abby down during her evening fits of colic. From about 5-7 weeks, she was crying bloody murder every night from 6 to 9pm. I tried everything and everything I did seemed to make it worse. Even holding her close. And even leaving her alone for a few minutes. She was clearly overstimulated and nothing helped. It was extremely wearing and it was starting to really get to me. As well as keeping Jake up and annoying all of us through the repercussions of that. So I did some research and between 2 books with hugely different philosophies, I found a solution.
Book #1 was the Baby Whisperer. Actually it was getting the second book in the series that did it. I used the first with Jake but needed a refresher on finer points. I ended up rejecting a lot of it for now, at least, but I think quite useful is the notion that babies need a routine that repeats itself at regular intervals throughout the day. You can be really flexible, but the pattern is the same: eat, activity, sleep. I was doing the cycle already (And Abby has been fed on demand, but has naturally followed a nearly perfect 2 hour cycle during the day since about 3 weeks - she eats every 2 hours) but I had not paid attention to Abby's sleep pattern. When I actually looked at what she was doing, I realized she was not sleeping more than in 20 minute chunks all day long! Sometimes she was up for 2 full eating cycles in a row. Not because we were keeping her awake, but because she couldn't settle herself to good sleep. By 6pm, she was beside herself tired. And on days where we took car trips and she slept longer, the colic crying was reduced. I realized I needed to help her sleep more and better during the day.
(Note: I tried the calming techniques in this book first and they didn't work at all - in fact, they made things much worse. I think they are much better suited to older babies, despite all the hoopla in the book about getting babies on a 3 hour, crib sleeping routine from when they are three days old. Abby wanted none of it!)
Book #2 was The Happiest Baby on the Block.
This book has saved my sanity. It has a very long intro to some very simple techniques about how to quiet and calm a crying baby. Unlike everything else I tried, it works! And it works fast too, which is amazing. By doing the 5 S's in this book (they are listed in the materials I got from the hospital when she was born but the extra instructions in this book make all the difference), I can quiet Abby in 3 minutes flat, and often have her asleep in 10. The key to all of it is a very tight swaddle, which I had stopped doing at about 2 weeks. She protests, but I was wrong to listen. She is, in the lexicon of the Baby Whisperer, a spirited child, and is able to work herself into a frenzy just by letting her arms flail around. Without that disturbance, and with some other distractions for her little brain, amazing things are happening!
Now I regularly put Abby in her pjs around 6 pm right before Jake comes upstairs to go to bed, and then when she starts her colic caterwauling, we go downstairs, I swaddle her and do the other S's and she is asleep in less than 10 minutes every time. I put her in her swing in the den with me (swinging is an S!) and then at bedtime I move her to her bassinet. For the last 6 nights she has stayed asleep from 6:30 to midnight or so this way! Last night she went until 2 am! I am amazed. Thank you to Harvey Karp for this simple but powerful little book. I have used other ideas in the book to help Abby sleep during the day too - I feel like I know what she needs at this age better than I ever did before. She now has regular naps in all sorts of places: swings, bouncy seats, car seats, crib; whatever is convenient for us with the right technique works for her too. It has made me feel like a supermom. I know I can quiet her with these techniques at any time, day or night, and she will be happy.
So, that's been my big obsession of late. Here are some photos from the past 2 weeks:
She likes her baths now very much. After the first one, during which she yelled, they've all gone well. I tend to do them in the morning, right after my shower, when the bathroom is warm and full of steam. I try to clear her nose this way every morning too - she sits in her swing and naps while I shower. She's been having a terrible time breathing at night and steam is so much easier than the aspirator (which makes her howl).
I didn't realize how much her eyes are glued to me until I saw these pictures. She will stare into my eyes intensely sometimes during her meals.
An interesting expression!
This is Abby's official 6 week couch photo. We did this with Jake, taking his picture every week on the couch with his stuffed giraffe. The minute I put her on the couch, Abby got stiff as a board and screamed. It was such a pleasurable experience I have somehow forgotten to do it since!
I like this one. You can see how chubby she's getting, as well as more alert and coordinated. She does try to hold her bottles about half of the time, and actually does quite often! And I love this little sailor outfit.
This may have been the tail end of a smile!
And this one is from today. She laid huge smiles on both her Daddy and me all morning.
What a ham!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Sleeping Beauty
Abby somehow manages to show a great deal of personality - even with her eyes closed!
A Close Shave
Jake got a new bathtub play shaving kit and has been practicing his shave technique every night at bath. He is so serious - looking in the little hand mirror that came with the set and figuring out which way his hand will move in it has been all engrossing! He "shaves" his arms and chest with just as much determination. Here I am holding up the mirror for him:
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Abby is Here!
On Saturday morning, my water broke while I was sleeping, at 3am. After a call to Ashleigh to come stay with Jake, a whirlwind drive to the hospital at 3:30 am with contractions coming every 2 minutes, and being coached through a very intense hour of natural labor by my amazing doula Cathy, our beautiful baby girl, Abigail Louise, made her appearance shortly after 5 am on Saturday, January 12, 2008.
At 38 weeks' gestation, she weighed 8 pounds 12 ounces, and was 21 inches long. She was 4 weeks later than her brother, and more than 2 and a half pounds bigger! And unlike him, came out with no drugs, no cuts, and no vacuum. She suckled like a champ within the first hour, and her dad made it home to be with Jake within 5 minutes of his waking up close to 7:30 am. We couldn't have designed a smoother entrance for her into our family. My doula was incredibly complimentary, practically giving me an award for my calm, controlled demeanor. I don't know who she was kidding. I was a wreck, it just all happened really quickly! I'm just glad to not have to EVER give birth again!
I stayed in the hospital for 2 days and nights, and Jake and Dad visited Abby and me daily. Jake got big brother stickers and announced to all he met that he was a new big brother. He keeps asking - "where's my baby?"
We are home now, and adjustments are being made all day long in every way. The cats are puzzled by the new smells and Hannah insists on hopping into the bassinet to claim it, so she is banished from the room. Abby is finding it difficult to sleep alone and adjust to a world that is not 98 degrees. She also has a little jaundice and is sleeping with a bili light tonight. I am learning to breastfeed for the first time (since Jake was so early he could not), and am finding that incredibly challenging (and painful!). The good news is that Abby is a voracious sucker and soon it should all turn around. Jake is finding the presence of continual needs of another person somewhat new and frustrating, though he is concerned about her crying and wants to help often. Mike is doing all the heavy lifting and manual labor around the house, a superdad if I ever saw one. We were all tired and cranky much of the time today.
Still, we are the real deal: a new family of 4 (plus two feline furballs) who are incredibly blessed and lucky. Mike and I both found we were looking at Jake differently today: his every physical capability compared to the newborn state he came in seems a small miracle. Then we look at our new daughter and are filled with awe for what she will become and what we will get to share with her along the way.
At 38 weeks' gestation, she weighed 8 pounds 12 ounces, and was 21 inches long. She was 4 weeks later than her brother, and more than 2 and a half pounds bigger! And unlike him, came out with no drugs, no cuts, and no vacuum. She suckled like a champ within the first hour, and her dad made it home to be with Jake within 5 minutes of his waking up close to 7:30 am. We couldn't have designed a smoother entrance for her into our family. My doula was incredibly complimentary, practically giving me an award for my calm, controlled demeanor. I don't know who she was kidding. I was a wreck, it just all happened really quickly! I'm just glad to not have to EVER give birth again!
I stayed in the hospital for 2 days and nights, and Jake and Dad visited Abby and me daily. Jake got big brother stickers and announced to all he met that he was a new big brother. He keeps asking - "where's my baby?"
We are home now, and adjustments are being made all day long in every way. The cats are puzzled by the new smells and Hannah insists on hopping into the bassinet to claim it, so she is banished from the room. Abby is finding it difficult to sleep alone and adjust to a world that is not 98 degrees. She also has a little jaundice and is sleeping with a bili light tonight. I am learning to breastfeed for the first time (since Jake was so early he could not), and am finding that incredibly challenging (and painful!). The good news is that Abby is a voracious sucker and soon it should all turn around. Jake is finding the presence of continual needs of another person somewhat new and frustrating, though he is concerned about her crying and wants to help often. Mike is doing all the heavy lifting and manual labor around the house, a superdad if I ever saw one. We were all tired and cranky much of the time today.
Still, we are the real deal: a new family of 4 (plus two feline furballs) who are incredibly blessed and lucky. Mike and I both found we were looking at Jake differently today: his every physical capability compared to the newborn state he came in seems a small miracle. Then we look at our new daughter and are filled with awe for what she will become and what we will get to share with her along the way.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Ready to Nest in Peace
Whew! I finished my term teaching at Duke on Tuesday. It was a total pleasure AND I am totally relieved to be through. No more worries about going into labor on I-85. No more worries about my few work-appropriate maternity clothes getting too tight for public view. No more rolling a hugely heavy computer bag full of papers to grade around campus, and no more lifting it in and out of the car.
I still have papers to grade but now I can do it from the comfort of my home, in shlumpy sweats, free to look and feel like the crazy pregnant woman that I am.
They were very nice on my last day - my TA gave me gifts which included a Duke sweatshirt for Jake, a tiny Duke t-shirt for baby, and a Duke mug for me.
All in all, a great experience and I look forward to continuing to work with them. After MARCH, that is!
Between now and then, I'm home free. All I have to work on now is my other consulting projects, Hannukah, Christmas, getting ready for baby, labor, and learning to care for a newborn and a toddler at once.
Now THAT sounds really relaxing, doesn't it??!! :)
I still have papers to grade but now I can do it from the comfort of my home, in shlumpy sweats, free to look and feel like the crazy pregnant woman that I am.
They were very nice on my last day - my TA gave me gifts which included a Duke sweatshirt for Jake, a tiny Duke t-shirt for baby, and a Duke mug for me.
All in all, a great experience and I look forward to continuing to work with them. After MARCH, that is!
Between now and then, I'm home free. All I have to work on now is my other consulting projects, Hannukah, Christmas, getting ready for baby, labor, and learning to care for a newborn and a toddler at once.
Now THAT sounds really relaxing, doesn't it??!! :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)